Born (The Born Trilogy Book 1) Read online

  Chapter Fifteen

  I sense him. It isn’t a feeling of his body next to mine but his eyes watching me. I want to reach out and touch him. I toss in the sheets fighting the fact I’m tangled up in Sarah and the blankets. I sigh and climb off the bed, rubbing my eyes and sliding between the sheets of the empty bed. The one that Anna sneaks into in the mornings. The sheets are cold and crisp, compared to the sweaty bed that’s filled with a needy eleven-year-old.

  I stare at the glowing white ceiling and feel a smile cross my lips. I knew it would be too bright to be dulled by the black of the night.

  I can see his wolf eyes if I close mine. He is looking for me and it tugs at my heart.

  He's never been away from me like this before. I knew his staying with Meg was a bad idea. I can feel his hopeless panic in my heart. My stomach makes a knot. The past two weeks have been amazing. I can't even try to lie to myself. I've eaten meals I never imagined I would—ever. I've had dessert every day. I can feel my body stretching and gaining and trying to find room for the extra weight. Anna and Sarah are the same. Sarah has started to get a little potbelly that Louise, our first nurse, has started to make fun of. Sarah eats and rubs it. We’ve bonded and gotten closer. I've learned Sarah was sold to the military. Her mother got liquor and smokes for her. She kissed her on the top of the head and told her not to be a bother.

  I have a small plan of hunting her down when we escape.

  I know Jake and Will have left us. I was worried for a few days and even felt guilty for not trying to get out, but the food keeps getting better.

  Anna says it's like the story of Hansel and Gretel. The witch kept making better and better food, but in the end she intended to eat them.

  She also says we need to worry about anyone who wants to give as much as the doctors and nurses do. Louise has grown oddly quiet in the last couple days. She mutters to herself and gets emotional in our room sometimes and then leaves quickly.

  I try not to think about it all and let my eyes close.

  As my thoughts fade into simple things that make me sleepy, the knob on the door turns. I know it's Anna.

  "You sleep with Sarah this time,” I mutter as she closes the door.

  "Emma honey, wake up now."

  I shoot up to see Louise standing in front of my door. Her clothes are dark—not the white coat and pale-blue pants and top. I would know her voice anywhere.

  "You girls gotta go tomorrow."

  I frown and rub my eyes. Did I fall back to sleep?

  "You gotta get out of here, baby girl. The doctors are going to take Anna in the morning for tests and then you have got to go. Do you understand me?"

  I nod. “Why?”

  "This place isn’t what it seems."

  My mind starts functioning. “I can't. I'm waiting for my dad's friend to come for me. He said he would send a signal."

  "I know, Emma. Serge sent me. Tomorrow there will be a huge garbage dump truck. You girls need to be in the back of it."

  My stomach knots tighter as my nerves twist. “Okay. How do I get there?” I remember the garbage thingy being in the middle. Will had been positive it would be there. I hadn’t been prepared for everything to be stark white and look exactly the same.

  I feel her weight on my bed. She sits by my feet. “I have something to tell you." It makes me twitchy.

  "The garbage isn’t for regular garbage. It's for the girls. You all will lie with the dead girls."

  It doesn’t hit me in the way she's expecting it to. I've lain with the dead before. I've covered myself in their blood. Women used to die from childbirth even before. It doesn’t bother me.

  "Okay."

  "They take the babies three times and then when the third one is born, they get rid of the girls. They think we don’t know, but we do. They take their organs and put them to sleep like dogs."

  My stomach lands somewhere very low in my abdomen. “What? What about the condos in the city? The healthy ones go live in the city."

  I can see her dark curls shaking against the white wall behind her. “No, baby. They don’t. That was a lie they made up. They built the city—but those women—they never leave here, except in the back of a garbage truck."

  Tears have formed in my eyes. “What?"

  Her hand reaches for mine in the dark and squeezes it. “That’s why you have to go. You have to get little Sarah and Anna out of here. The scientists have done studies. A baby only needs its mother for the first two years of its life. After that it can easily be raised by anyone. It gets the milk and love from its mother for the first two years and then it gets adopted out in the city. That nurse Gloria, she is waiting on you to have a baby. She'll be old enough to raise your baby by the time the first one is old enough to go."

  My hands go to my stomach where my unfertilized eggs sit. My fingers dig into my skin, mine. Those eggs—those babies are mine. I would never let her take them. Not even from my cold dead fingers. A cold sweat covers my skin. I have never given a single thought to having a baby. I can't imagine bringing something into the world and making it learn to be what we are. But those are my eggs, and I’ll be damned if some city girl is taking them.

  Louise stands up and grips my hand. “You need this.” She slips a piece of plastic in my hands and a small folded piece of paper.

  "Thank you,” I say. I don’t know what else to say.

  "No. Do not thank me. Just get out. Tell everyone what you've learned.” She opens the door.

  "Come with us."

  She sighs. “I can't. You take my love with you.” She closes the door.

  I lie back onto my bed and know I will not sleep, no matter what.

  Images of women in body dumps, like the ones in the borderlands I've seen, start to flash in my mind. If I close my eyes, they get brighter, more colorful. When I open my eyes, I can still see their faces swirling in the bright white ceiling that never dims. I hear their voices filling my head. My eyes grow heavy against my will.

  When I wake, Sarah is sitting on my bed eating an apple. It's bright and red and reminds me of Snow White. Her ruby-red lips and white skin are so shocking against the bright-red peel. The sun is up. Small round lights let in the sunlight instead of light bulbs. Like a skylight my granny had but tiny and round.

  Sarah looks pretty this morning. I see such a difference in her. Her skin glows, her blonde hair is shiny, and her blue eyes sparkle with life and health. If I close my eyes, I remember people looking like that all the time, before.

  "What's your mother like?” I ask because of her white teeth. They're cared for. It's obvious.

  She shrugs. “She's young. Like thirty and kind of mean. She made me wash with really hot water every day and brush three times a day and floss too. She would scrub my skin like I was a potato."

  I wish I'd had more of a mother. Even if she had scrubbed my skin like I was a potato.

  "What did she do before the fall?"

  "She was a secretary for a dental firm. My dad was a dentist."

  I take an apple from the plate of fruit and cheese she has beside her. “Is your dad still there with her?"

  She shakes her head and takes another big bite. She chews for a second and then talks with her mouth full, spitting tiny apple bits. “He stayed with his family."

  I take a small bite and leave it at that.

  Anna walks in looking funny. Her eyes seem dark, like the pupil has eaten up all the color.

  "Hey."

  "You okay?"

  She shakes her head. “No. I feel gross. I went for testing and they put me to sleep. I threw up a minute ago. It's like the room is spinning."

  This changes things.

  She sits on the bed and seems off. I can see the sway in each of her movements.

  She lies down and curls into a ball. “I just need to sleep it off."

  I touch her arm and squeeze. “We have to leave now. You can't sleep."

  She opens one eye. “What?"

  I nod and pull out the paper and wh
ite plastic card. “Louise came to see me last night. We need to leave. Now. A garbage truck is coming today. My dad's friend told Louise the garbage was coming today."

  She groans and nuzzles into the bed. “Nooooo. Let's just stay for one more day."

  I fidget with the plastic ID card. “That’s not all Louise said."

  Anna groans and rolls around. “Does it matter? I don’t want to leave. Not yet."

  Sarah frowns and tosses her apple into the compost bin that gets emptied every day. She gets down on her knees and looks at Anna at eye level. “They're murdering the moms after they give birth. They take your babies at two and then give them to women in the city. After three babies are raised to two years old, they murder you. The condos are a lie. There ain’t life in the city afterwards."

  Anna licks her lips and tilts her head back to look at me. I nod, feeling sick. I never knew Sarah was awake when Louise was speaking. It sounds much worse coming from the lips of a child.

  Anna pushes herself up. “Okay. Let's do this.” She drinks from the bottle of water next to her. “I'll be okay. Just let me wake up."

  I drink a huge drink too and pass it to Sarah.

  She looks at the apples and cheese on the plate. “I'm going to miss this place."

  We all laugh.

  "Louise drew a map on this paper. She said when you got back from the tests, we should leave immediately and hide in the garbage."

  Anna nods and rubs her eyes. “Okay."

  I feel sick. “There is one last thing."

  She looks up at me. I can see her fighting the grogginess.

  "The garbage is where the women are put. After."

  She makes a face.

  I stand and walk to the door. “One at a time, we walk out into the garden. Don't make it obvious."

  I leave the room.

  A small piece of me stays in the white room. I want to go back as soon as my feet take their steps down the hall. Every movement feels pronounced and slow. My arms swing at my sides. I tuck the paper and card into my pocket and walk out into the bright living room and kitchen. Girls are everywhere, talking and laughing. They're eating, as always. They're wiping sweat from their brows after leaving the exercise room where we run and walk on a track that moves. They're leaning against the marble counters and taking huge drinks of water with lemon slices in them. I'm going to miss the cold lemon water.

  I don't look at them. I watch them, but I don’t look. I push the glass door open and sigh as my feet touch the shaved bark and dirt on the ground. It feels like the forest if you close your eyes and let the smell of the wood and trees fill you. I slip to the far side of the garden and smell a flower. Anyone who has noticed me leaving for the garden has turned back when they see me being, well, me. Smelling flowers and touching trees. I've spent a considerable amount of here. I stand by the door on the far side of the garden that leads to the other side of the dorms.

  Anna walks in next. She walks clumsily.

  She meets my eyes and goes and sits on a bench. I can see the drugs in her system. Everything she does is clumsy.

  Sarah comes last. She goes into the kitchen and takes some cheese from the board where the cook is cutting. Cook smiles and rubs her head. Everyone has adopted Sarah. She is the only child on our side.

  She grins and eats the white cheese.

  She moseys around for a moment and then slips down the hall again. She walks out into the garden and shows me her piece of cheese. I smile at her. I can see eyes on me.

  Louise walks into the living room. She sees me and smiles. I smile back. She doesn’t give me a signal or anything. She turns away from the window and walks into the kitchen. She pulls out something from a cupboard. I can't see what it is, but the girls inside of the kitchen and living room go to her. They seem excited.

  I walk to the door and open it. "Now." We speed walk to the metal door at the end of the hall. Anna and Sarah are right behind me. It's just like we've talked about. No talking, just doing. Follow the leader.

  I slide the card and the door opens.

  We walk fast. I glance at the paper and see we need the fifth door on the right. I count them as we walk silently. At the fifth metal door I slide the card and again a door opens. Once we are inside we all scan the area.

  We are in a room with clothes. Scrubs are what Louise called them. I pull the pale-blue scrubs on over my white clothes. Anna and Sarah will never pass as nurses but I might.

  From this small room with hallways leading from it, we take a left out the door across the room into a new hallway. I feel sick walking through here. I don’t see anyone or hear anyone.

  The lights seem brighter somehow, like they are blinding me.

  A man speaks harshly, “I'm telling you, it's twins. There is no way she is that far along."

  "Impossible,” A woman's voice speaks to him.

  The map says the next door on the right. My hands shake as I slide the card. The man and lady are one room over. The door opens into another hallway. This place is a maze. No one would ever get out. Not without help.

  We walk straight and I open a door to the left, eight doors down. Feet shuffle about on the floor and people lumber about, but I see no one. I wonder if it's break time or something.

  My face is covered in sweat and my heart is pounding. My chest hurts.

  The door opens to a small room with black garbage bags and metal counters. There are beds with wheels and a huge square door. It is the biggest door I've ever seen. The room is freezing cold and smells like something I have never smelled before. It hurts my nose like the air is sharp.

  I glance at the map and feel more frightened than I have yet. I look at the words. They fuzz out, I look at them so hard. "Get into the bags." God, that can’t be right but it’s what the paper says.

  Sarah looks at me like she wants to argue but I point to the black bags. “Hurry. Climb in a bag."

  I pull a soft plastic bag from the shelves and open it. The sides stick together so I shake it, the way I've seen my granny do. Air separates the sides. Sarah and Anna do the same thing.

  I roll the sides and step into the bag. Every sound we make is echoing off the cold metal walls. Sarah has the bag up to her face. I tie the ends of it into a bow at the top of her head. I look at the note again and swallow hard. I open the huge door on the far wall. It makes a suctioning noise when I pull the huge silver lever. The light and heat of the midday sun beats in on us instantly. I feel like an ant under a microscope. The natural air and feel of the day is overwhelming.

  "We have to jump in."

  Sarah hops to the platform over the dumpster. A massive green bin is at the end of the platform. It is a ten-foot jump down into the bin filled with black plastic bags.

  It makes me sick looking at it. Sarah looks at me through the hole in the top of her bag. Her blue eyes are watery.

  "Just jump, Sarah. Try not to think or smell or anything. Just be there and know it's the way out, okay?"

  She nods and closes her eyes. She lets herself tip over the end of the dirty metal platform and her eyes pinch as she falls slowly into the heap. A small hand comes out of the bag with thumbs up. Anna hops in her bag to the end of the platform.

  "This is insane,” she whispers harshly.

  I nod. I have nothing to add. It is insane. We are going to be in the dumpster with a bunch of dead girls until the garbage truck comes for us. I want to cry just thinking about it.

  I lean forward. “Sarah, roll to the right so we don’t land on you."

  The dumpster is huge and I can't pick out her bag from the others. Not until I see it rolling over the body bags and moving to the side.

  Anna hops down into the pit, letting her legs fold under her. She rolls beside Sarah.

  Closing the massive door, I notice a weird nozzle on a hose in the shrinking gap between the metal door and the doorframe. It's identical to the one my grampy had for washing his car.

  I turn and look around at the huge parking lot. We are behind the build
ing. The garbage bin I'm about to jump into is one of five. The one below me is about half full. I wonder if the others are as full. There must be thirty dead girls in my bin.

  I step off the ledge before I start processing things and scare myself, more than I already am.

  My feet land amongst the soft and stiff bodies. I let my legs fold. I wiggle down into the bag and before I tie it off, I look around at us. No tears in the bags, no clothes showing. Everything is just a sea of black bags. I pull the ends up and tie them.

  "Em, I think I'm going to be sick.” Anna makes a gagging noise.

  "No, just close your eyes.” I listen for her to get sick. Then, as if instinctual, I recall what my father used to do when I was having a panic attack.

  I lick my lips and whisper softly, “I want you to try to imagine something. I went to this place. I met Will there. It's where we are going right after this. It's like a sanctuary in the forest. When I saw it, I was stunned. A forest full of people—normal people who live together and protect each other. They have a tent city but amongst the trees. The trees are huge. Like giants. Everyone was nice and they gave me food and medical help and a tent to sleep in, with warm blankets and a soft bed. I went with one nice lady down a path. We walked for a few minutes through the trees and then suddenly it opened up and there was a huge swimming hole. It's completely walled in with rock cliffs and no one but the tent-city people go there. It's protected. They swim in the cold water and they play. They play in the water."

  Anna doesn’t speak again. I hope she is imagining the tall trees. I hope she is ignoring the smell of old death. I can feel it trying to get in the bag I'm in. Like fingers made of smoke, it claws at my bag and tries to take over the air inside of my small space.

  Inside of the darkness with the heat of the sun bearing down on the black plastic bags, we wait.

  I think I'm falling asleep when I first hear the sound. It's a truck. It makes a grinding noise. A sharp scream of metal fills the parking lot we are in.

  "Emma,” Sarah whispers. I can hear the panic in her whisper over the plastic crinkle of her moving bag. I look through the small hole that I've been breathing through to see Sarah's blue eyes watching my bag through the hole in hers.