White Girl Problems Read online

  My phone was in the photo album. The picture was a Snapchat, and yet, somehow it was— Oh my God! Sheila saved the picture!

  She screenshot it as it came through. She had my phone unlocked? How? Oh God. I could feel my green smoothie coming back up.

  My mouth started to go dry. I turned, ripping off my clothes and pulling a cute knit skirt over the knee-high riding boots and layered a white tank under a butter-colored, off-the-shoulder, over-sized shirt. I fixed my makeup and smeared the very last drags of my plumping lip-gloss on my mouth, before shoving my phone into my bra. I ran down the stairs to the kitchen where my cards were sitting. I reached for them but stopped, hovering my hand over top of them. It felt like a trap.

  I sniffed the air for her hideous perfume. It was nowhere to be smelled. I snatched the cards and bolted for the front door, certain she would be plotting my demise from a shadow somewhere. I could hear my father dialing his cell phone just behind the door to his office. “Get me the number for the Northwest Plaza.”

  When I was out on the front doorstep, I escaped to the right. I was near cramping up when I finally made it a few houses down the road.

  I put my hands on my hips and heaved for air. My forehead felt damp. I brushed a finger along it, grimacing at the sweat. “Oh God.” I needed to start working out more. I turned up the road and sent Jessica, my stepsister, a text.

  ‘Out for the night! Tell Sheila!’

  She messaged back instantly. ‘Chickenshit ;-) Do it yourself.’

  I rolled my eyes as I got onto Linna’s street. ‘Hell to the no. She is frothing. I’ll take the blame for the broken vase in the foyer that I know your cat did.’

  ‘Deal.’

  I sighed and hobbled up to Linna’s door. She opened it, laughing her masked face off. I held up my hand. “Don't even. I’ll curse you and your Proactiv will drip on your shirt.” I stormed past the front door and up the stairs to her room. She followed, texting yet somehow walking past the debris on the floor.

  “So tell me what happened, but talk loud. I’m FaceTiming Steph.”

  I looked at the fifty messages I’d missed. “What’s the plan for tonight?”

  Linna shook her head. “No. We want details, looka.”

  “No.” I held my middle finger up for the camera on the phone and texted Aaron.

  ‘You suck. Sheila saw that picture. Maybe next time use a bigger teddy bear. Idiot.’

  He sent another picture but without the bear altogether. “Oh God. Why? My eyes.” Of course that never stopped me from taking a screenshot of it.

  Linna sat on the bed across from me, texting. “What?”

  I sent the picture to her and watched as her pale face got bright red. She tucked her blond hair up and gave me a look. “Do you guys have a thing?”

  I gasped. “No. What? Eww. God. He touches himself with stuffed animals. Come on. How bad does one person’s day have to get?”

  She snorted and rolled her bright-blue eyes. “You are so having a thing with him. Why else would he send that pic?”

  I gagged. “He’s a freak. Yeah, well, Sheila saw the other one.”

  Linna laughed harder and I gagged harder.

  I squished my tummy. “I’m getting fat. I need to go on the bowl diet again.”

  She wrinkled her nose. “What was that one?”

  “The bowl diet, where you only eat as much food as fits in the bowl. It’s easy.”

  She nodded. “Right. That was actually a smart one.”

  “Yeah.”

  I closed my eyes, lying on her bed, and wondered if my dad would believe the story he would hear from the security guard. I didn't want to think about it anymore. I opened one eye. “You still have the forty of that rum we smuggled back from Mexico?”

  Linna looked over from her phone. “Oh my God, I do. Carter Henderson is having a thing tonight. We have to go.”

  The clock on the wall said it was six. Too early to get drunk, but if we stayed, my dad was going to be at her house, no doubt accompanied by a prancing Sheila. She would be excited to gloat her exoneration and my failure. That was her thing. She loved it when I screwed up. I didn't know why I kept giving her opportunities to gloat. Why couldn't I stop being such an idiot?

  Linna’s eyes brightened. “Oh, hey. I was at Sephora today and I got you one of the new plumpers. It’s better than the one you use, apparently.” She jumped up and grabbed it from the bag and tossed it at me.

  I smiled. “Thanks. You didn't have to.”

  She shrugged. “I was getting falsies for junior prom and they had it.”

  “You should go for a fill. It’s better than falsies.” I opened the box and unscrewed the cap. It smelled like cinnamon, and when I smeared it across my lips, it felt amazing. I loved the tingling feeling. I puckered my lips. “Do they look bigger?”

  She laughed. “Especially when you duck face at me.”

  “Why do white girls have sucky skinny lips?”

  She collapsed onto the bed. “I know, right? So not fair.”

  Why can’t white girls drink without becoming one of the four?

  The Crier, the Slut, the Mother Hen, the Fighter…

  Chapter Two

  German Porn

  “I can feel the song inside of me.”

  I looked over at Aaron and laughed. “You took too much.”

  He laughed and I could barely see the colors of his eyes. “I took pure E. It’s not cut with anything. I don't think there’s any way you can OD on pure. Just relax and feel the beats.”

  Little did he know, I never took any. I had tossed it into the pool when he’d handed it to me.

  I poured my drink into my mouth and tried to swallow without dying. It was hard. The rum burned, but I toughed through like a champ.

  “You know what I like about you, Fin?”

  I coughed the burn back and looked at him again. “I’m a girl?”

  He smiled, trying to do the whole charming smile thing he always did. He was hot; Aaron was that typical “Western US Hot Guy Dilemma” where you want to hate him because you shouldn’t date him. He was like a BFF but a dude, but at the same time a golden god. Dark-blond hair, sexy body, stunning blue eyes. I could imagine how he would look on top of me. It was hot.

  He gave me the smile I loved, flashing his dimple. “No… I mean I like that you’re a girl, but I also like how badass you are. You’re not a typical thot, ya know?”

  I scoffed. “I’m not a thot? You’re a dick. Who even classifies girls like that?” Thot was the newest trending word for slut and I hated it. It sounded dirty, and of course I wasn’t a slut. I was a virgin. I was the ungettable get.

  It wasn’t from a lack of action—it was because the more you said no, the more boys wanted you. It had grown into a game. I was the most-wanted girl in school.

  I got up and staggered inside from the pool deck. My drink spilled down my arm. I sighed and dumped it into a fake plant and tossed the cup behind a chair. As I walked past a guy I wasn’t sure I knew, I dragged my wet arm, wiping it across his back. He flashed me a smile. I winked and slithered through the party, weaving and wiping.

  Carter walked up to me with a huge solo cup of beer. “Hey, Fin. What’s shakin’?”

  I snickered. “My ass.”

  A smile crept up his face. “I’d like that to be true. Wanna come upstairs?”

  I laughed. “You wish. Those Snapchat naked photos were disturbing. You have to stop that. It’s creepy.”

  “Just showing you the merchandise. Come upstairs and you can see it in real life.”

  I rolled my eyes. “You think I’d give it up here, now? I don’t think so. You should have seen the ones Aaron sent.”

  He leaned against the wall, smelling yummy, maybe body spray and beer mixed together. He was tall and thick, a football player of course; all the good ones were. “Forget Aaron. You know you want me to have it.”

  I leaned into him, pressing myself against his firm chest, and whispered in his ear, “Not a friggi
n’ hope.”

  He laughed, pressing me into the wall. “Liar.” He kissed my cheek, but I moved to the side before it could go anywhere else. He gave me a steamy look. Yikes. Hot boys and sexy eyes were a problem for me. I started to laugh and pointed at the girl next to us. “Your girlfriend wants you.”

  Glancing over his shoulder at the hot mess in the corner brought an amused look to his intense face. “Nice.”

  I winked and walked past the crying girl in the corner as she started to snivel to her friend. “I just love him, ya know?”

  Her friend was looking around for an escape. “I know.”

  The girl cried harder. “NO! You don’t know. No one does. I’ve loved him since freshman year and he’s here with her.”

  I rolled my eyes and passed through into the kitchen. A dozen people were standing around the huge marble island, moaning. I stopped and watched as Loraine, a senior at my school, moaned, “Ohhhhhhhh.” She looked at the girl next to her who moaned too. They were passing the moan it looked like, but faking orgasms at the same time. I had no idea what was going on. It didn’t get better when the next girl pointed at the girl next to her and yelled, “Up die pooper?”

  The girl next to her laughed and shook her head. A guy across from her pointed. “You were supposed to say nein. Ha, drink!”

  Linna walked over to me. “German porn. New drinking game. Let’s not ask.”

  I shook my head. “That girl seriously just said something to that blonde about a pooper?”

  Linna laughed. “Eww. Let’s go.”

  We staggered outside where she lit a smoke and I watched for Aaron. I wasn’t in the mood for his show. It was the same for every girl. Linna gave me a look. It was eerie in the moonlight. “Your dad came to my parents’ house.”

  I winced. “Yeah, I suspected he might.”

  “My dad was pissed when he called me. He said your dad knows you got caught shoplifting a lip-gloss and lied about it. He said you can’t sleep over.”

  I laughed. “Duh. I wasn’t going to.” I totally was going to. “I just wanted to wait ‘til Dad was sleeping before going home. Sheila has had loads of time to repair the love between them—barf. So she’ll be all gloaty.”

  “Gloaty isn’t a word, moron. I don’t think going home reeking of rum is going to help the situation.”

  I plucked the cigarette from her hand and took a drag. “Does it make me look cool like you?” Instantly, I started choking and tossed it into the pool. “Why do you smoke? Gross!” It was gross and it was doing something to my already-spinning head.

  She laughed. “That was awesome. You just threw that in the pool. You are a train wreck. We have to get you home. You’re my ride or die, but you need to stop being such a hot mess.” I could see her hand wave, but something dire was happening inside of me. I turned and staggered to the prize rose bushes in the corner of the yard. I could smell the flowers Carter’s mom was famous for, for about a second. Then I could smell rum and tacos.

  I gripped a branch, not realizing it belonged to one of the thick rose bushes. I felt my hand slipping and the world falling with me, but that was it. I saw stars, real ones. I was on my back and then the lights went out, and I didn’t see the stars anymore.

  It’s going down (my GPA). I’m yelling TIMBERRRRRRR…

  Chapter Three

  Internet Pedos

  The pounding headache, the impatient sigh of some jackass in my room, and the bright lights overhead were the first three things I noticed. My eyelids fluttered a few times, but the whole vivid lights/big hangover thing was intense.

  “We started a drip to rehydrate her. It actually will cure the hangover.” The voice speaking was an unknown, but curing sounded awesome. Whatever the cure was, I needed it. I felt like I’d been run over.

  Then I heard Satan’s mistress. “I don’t think you should rehydrate her. She should suffer for what she’s put us through.” If my mouth wasn’t sewn shut with cotton balls of death, I might have told Sheila to suck it, but I was scared she might have agreed. Bitch would do anything for a buck. Money grubby ho. If anyone was a thot, it was her.

  “Are you kidding me? Isn’t she your child?” Thank God for the person defending me. Lord knew it wouldn’t be my father. “She has alcohol poisoning and drugs in her system. We don’t generally let minors just roll with that one.”

  I opened an eye as the snooty nurse stormed out of my hospital room.

  Great.

  Life was getting better by the second. I looked down at my hand and wrist, shocked at the huge bandage that was there. What the hell had happened? What did I remember?

  Sheila saw my opened eyes and glowered at me. “Well, well, well, look who’s awake.”

  In a feeble attempt at moving, I lifted my middle finger and smiled as best as I could. Her blue eyes widened. “You little bitch!”

  What she didn’t see was my father coming into the room behind her. He froze. I lowered my finger before he could see it.

  He gave me a look. “Sheila, go home. I will deal with Fin on my own.”

  Her face dropped. She turned. “She—”

  He shook his head. “I don’t want to hear it. I’m so tired of you two that I could run away. Now get out of here before I have you removed.”

  She looked raging angry but never said another thing. She turned and stomped out of the room.

  He sat next to me, looking exhausted. I almost felt bad.

  He sighed and drank the coffee in his hand. “Fin, what is going on? First the shoplifting and now drugs and the cutting… Sheila showed me the pornographic photos she saw on your phone. We’re taking it away until you can learn to be more mature. You know the fact that he’s under the age of eighteen makes this child porn distribution.”

  Shit.

  Wait… had he said drugs? Cutting? I opened my mouth, but he lifted his phone. “Don’t try denying it. I saw the pictures of the naked boy, and I have the video footage from the store you stole from. The guard emailed it to me when I called telling him I would have his job.” He shook his head as I tried to avoid the intense disappointment in his eyes. He looked lost, like he wanted to say things he shouldn't. It was making it worse for me until I literally watched his face harden. “You’re leaving tomorrow. We can’t have another summer like the last one. You’re ruining your life and you’re taking mine with it. I don’t have a lot of time for vacations now because I’ve been dealing with you instead of working. Owning the company means I have to work twice as much, not half.”

  My stomach dropped. “You’re kicking me out?” I could feel tears in my eyes, but I was so hurt I didn't want to cry.

  “We can’t live like this anymore.” He nodded. “I’m sending you to your aunt’s.”

  The tears were gone instantly. “Aunt Cheryl’s?”

  He chuckled bitterly. “No. I know she is the one who bootlegs the alcohol for you. Of course not her. No, you will be spending the summer with Hattie.”

  I wrinkled my nose. “Who?” How did he know Cheryl was my boot? Why was he sending me to a stranger’s house?

  “Hattie is the aunt your mother spent her summers with when she was a girl.”

  I sighed. “Dad, I’m sorry, okay? I got a little crazy. I’m sorry. I’ll be nicer to Sheila, I promise.”

  “You didn’t just get a little crazy, Fin. You did drugs. They found them in your system. Not to mention the cutting. Linna saw you do it. You know, Fin, alcohol is one thing, but the drugs and cutting—I won’t stand for that. I never imagined my little girl would get to this point.”

  I shook my head. “Dad, I never did drugs and I wouldn’t cut myself. I don’t even like cutting my nails.” It was true as far as I could remember. I was the only person who NEVER did drugs, and blood made me woozy. Why would I do either?

  “You’re a liar, Fin. I have to come to terms with that.” He got up abruptly. “We aren’t discussing this again. You need help. You fly out at ten tomorrow morning. I’ll pick you up at eight and drive you
there. The hospital is discharging you then.” He grabbed my hand and squeezed. “Think about leaving here before you’re discharged or leaving your aunt’s house when you get there, and I will disown you.” He let my hand go and walked out of the room.

  I lay back and waited for the ceiling in the room to crash down on top of me and kill me ‘cause honestly, what was left?

  Sheila had to be behind it all. How could my father pick her over me? I knew I didn’t do drugs or cut myself. Linna was lying and I didn’t know why. The tests had to be wrong. I never did drugs. I hated them. I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep, blanketed in sadness and confusion.

  When the morning came, the nurse gave me a stern look. “I had the launderers clean your clothes. I don't normally do that, but my kid said she knows you. Said you stopped some guy from attacking her at a party last winter.”

  I scowled at her. “What?” That didn't sound like me.

  She nodded. “You were drunk and you punched him in the face.”

  Okay, that sounded like me. I pointed a finger at her. “Andi’s mom?” The image of Andi crying and the dick from the public school telling her she would like it still plagued me. At least I had gotten there in time. Technically, I had gone outside to throw up. I had wanted to drink more, but I was getting full and I didn’t want the calories.

  “Yes, Andi’s mom.” The nurse smiled. “Your dad is waiting out in the hallway. That bitch of a stepmother of yours is with him. Keep your chin up, Finley. Don't let her see you upset about this. You made a mistake and you party too much, but she has no right to be that evil.” She turned and left the room.

  She was right.

  When I was dressed and my makeup was fixed, I held my head high and strolled out into the hallway like I didn't give a shit. I pulled the light jacket I had over my bandaged arm. My heart was racing, and I wasn't entirely sure I could keep my toast down, but the nurse was right. I didn't want Sheila to see me sweat.