Imaginations Read online

  I stared out at the lights of the city. “It’s beautiful.”

  He nodded. “Not for long.”

  I looked at him. “Why are you being so secretive with me?”

  His lip lifted into a half grin. “I never wanted to bring you into this. I need to say that.” He sounded lost and disconnected.

  I rolled my eyes. “If you aren’t going to tell me what’s going on, then just don’t talk.” I looked back out at the night sky, filled with stars that almost matched the twinkling lights of the city below us.

  After a long time in silence, I whispered, “Are we inside of the wall?”

  He nodded. “Yup.”

  “We could be killed by the guards if they think we’re monsters from the other side.”

  His lips lifted all the way into a smile. “That’s what we’re here for. I want to show you the monsters from the other side.”

  “Why?” I was nearly crippled by fear.

  He lifted his mask, resting it on his forehead. “Gwyn, I never want you to forget what you’re about to see. But I can’t tell you about it. I can’t taint it for you. You must go into this innocent and unsuspecting. Do you understand?”

  I shook my head, lost in the look on his face. He was beautiful, even in the dark.

  He smiled and lifted my mask too. Before he could say anything else, a scream filled the dark night. I looked down onto the ground and watched as dark figures filtered into the open grass below us from an alleyway. People wept as thumping noises joined their cries.

  “It’s time,” he whispered. I found myself pulling back, not wanting to be seen. Terror and horror, and things I didn’t know filled me up, pushing away my curiosity. I wanted to stop looking as the wall opened a crack but I didn’t. The sound and vibration of the wall moving was deafening. My heart was pounding out of my chest. I didn’t think I’d seen the wall open before. I didn’t know it could. The sound was so loud and offensive, it even drowned out the screams from the ground below us.

  Torches joined the constantly moving group of people. In the flashes I could see people with dark clothes and things in their hands. They were shoving the large squirming group of crying people. Some fell, tripping on the person next to them or their own feet. A dark-clothed person kicked one of them when they were down. I gasped. Bran placed his hand over my lips and whispered, “Do you recognize anyone?”

  I leaned more forward, almost gasping as my eyes widened. In the torchlight I saw Brooke from my class. She was being dragged by a huge man. He tossed her hard through the gap in the wall. She screamed as she fell to the other side. I leaned into him as silent tears flowed down my cheeks. I had no memory of a person hurting another person purposely, certainly no one I knew.

  “Why her?”

  “She must have done something or confessed to something they didn’t like.” His words were soft, but I could hear the distaste in them. What could she have possibly done? She was seventeen—how could she have earned that fate in so little time?

  I trembled and sobbed silently as they were pushed, shoved, and kicked until the last ones were through the crack in the wall. The people with the things in their hands pointed them at the gap as it sealed with a great disturbance of the sickening cries. The vibration and noise took over the night as the wall began to move shut. Someone screamed, but it was a sound I would swear I had never heard before. A scream that was so horrid that it hurt me.

  A light was flashed onto the wall, revealing an arm through the crack. As the partition closed all the way, the arm fell to the ground, leaving a stain of blood on the gray wall. I gagged, but Bran’s hands cupped my face completely. My head twitched and shook as I chanted silently, “No, no, no, no, no, no, no.”

  He pressed his face against my cheek, holding me tight to him. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

  I buckled, sobbing. I had no response for something so awful. It went against everything I knew.

  He whispered into my tears, “That is what is on the other side of the wall. The people who don’t fit into this world. People who the memory reset doesn’t work on. People who begin to form opinions. People who have diseases, or there is something about them that makes them undesirable, or even the people who are unable to reproduce with another person. There are women who have gotten pregnant, even though they have not been given the ability. Anyone who doesn’t fit in gets sent to the other side.”

  I shook my head as he pulled us both back into the tunnel, sheltered from anyone who might be able to see us. I leaned against him, sobbing. “Why?”

  His green eyes flashed with emotion. “Our world is based entirely upon control.”

  I looked up. “But their families will know—they’ll know that they have disappeared.”

  He shook his head. “No, they won’t. Where is your brother, Gwyn? Do you recall Greg visiting you?”

  I opened my mouth to say there were signs of him, but I knew that didn’t mean he had actually been there. I closed my mouth, swallowing my words.

  His eyes sparkled in the dim light, “You see my point?”

  I nodded. “I do, but I don’t understand why. How would any of us know that someone was pregnant without being approved? Why not just match her and make memories so she believes it’s her match’s baby and he believes as well?”

  “Untested females may carry disease or the inherent ability to block the reset. It’s genetic. So is the ability to have a baby without permission.”

  I backed away. “How do you know all of this?”

  His face hardened. “I remember every day, every second, every occurrence I have witnessed or participated in. I remember every thought and feeling.” His hand lifted to my cheek. “I remember when I saw you for the first time. It was winter and you were walking with Amber. I was with Lyle, and we were hanging out at lunch. Everyone was outside for a walk about the grounds. You were maybe thirteen or fourteen. You were laughing and having fun. You saw me and instantly your face flushed. You looked at the ground and tried to get back your conversation but it was done. You were stuck on whatever you were thinking about me. Later you asked Lyle about me. When he found out he had possibly succeeded in his quest to be a planner, he asked me to gain your trust, remembering that moment we had. He had tried with you but I guess it hadn’t worked. He scared you. I didn’t.”

  The warmth of his hand was almost shocking. I chose to ignore the conversation we were having, “Where is my brother?”

  He nodded back at the group of men on the ground. “He’s a watcher, a guard. He caught me on the tram and knew instantly that I had my memories. It was just lucky it was him, and not a different guard. ‘Course a different guard wouldn’t have noticed. Anyway, he let me go and never reported my behavior. He had been watching the trams and he saw me watching you. He saw me trying to get you to remember me.”

  My brow pinched. “You were?”

  “Yes.”

  “Why?”

  He shook his head. “We heard you were possibly going to be a planner with Lyle. I needed you to know what was going on before you went into their version of our world. Seeing you every day cemented me in your mind. Made you trust me.”

  I shook my head. “How could you know all that?”

  “Greg and Lyle.”

  My day filled my brain. Lyle knew things. He knew too many things. I looked up. “Lyle is like you, isn’t he?”

  “He’s my cousin. Our fathers are brothers.”

  “Why didn’t you go to behavioral school with us?”

  He shrugged. “I’m older than you. I did go with you, but we were in different classes. You would have had no reason to remember me. I finished behavioral school a couple years ago. My designation was the orchards. My father doesn’t have an important job and loads of money. He works in the orchards and hides his abilities so that’s what I did, too. If anyone ever found out about our family, we would be in huge trouble. Our entire family would be sent out beyond the wall.”

  I looked down. “What is beyond the
wall?”

  He shrugged. “I don’t know. I haven’t ever been there, and I personally don’t know anyone who has ever come back.”

  “Why did my brother help you?”

  His eyes hardened. “He wants it to stop, same as me. He has his full memories; he knows what’s going on. He is out in the real world every day.” He pointed toward the ground. “This isn’t the first time you’ve seen violence, Gwyn. Once you and I were sneaking away from the club, and we were kissing against a wall in a dark corner. A man was running by us, when some guards came. They beat him in front of us. I kept you silent until they left again, dragging the unconscious bleeding man away from us.”

  It felt like it was all going in circles, huge ones that I didn’t grasp. Two emotions flashed simultaneously, “Why are you always kissing me?”

  He smiled sweetly. “The fastest memories are linked to emotions, heightened emotions. Sexual, anger, excitement, and stress reactions are the most likely to be remembered. You remember faster than most people. You’re clever and fast at reasoning things out. Making a scene and getting you angry, excited, or stressed would have brought constant attention to us. It was the best way to get you to remember me.”

  I crawled away from him, putting my back against the other side of the wall, and let it all sink in. “My whole world is a lie.”

  “Our whole world is false and there are, no doubt, countless people beyond that wall. People who were forced out, like that group we saw. Like that young girl from your class. It happens every night, in the dead of the night, when everyone is resetting.”

  I frowned. “How can they get rid of so many and not expect us to notice?”

  He smiled. “You are quick. They have been bumping up the numbers of children being born. Matching more couples and making bliss. They never went anywhere near capacity on that, for fear of overpopulating the city.”

  I ran my fingers through my hair. “How is this all possible? How could it all be a lie? Everything was to protect us from the past and the negativity.”

  “No, it never was about that. It was always about control. There is no better way to control the population than to take away their ability to think or remember why they were angry.”

  The huge breaths I was taking were not slowing my rapid heartbeat. I sighed. “I’m tired and confused. I want to go to sleep.” I couldn’t bear to look at him.

  I didn’t need to. The disappointment in his tone was sufficient. “You want to forget it all?”

  I hugged my knees into my chest and nodded. “I do. I don’t want to end up like Brooke.”

  “I can’t say I’m not disappointed, but I have to admit, I prepared for this.”

  I looked up fast to see the large needle in his hand. I tried to jump, but he pinned me to the floor and stabbed hard, stroking his hand through my hair. “Shhhhhhhhh, Gwyn, just relax. I won’t hurt you, I swear it.”

  The last new day but it feels old to me

  There was a terrible feeling inside of me, and for the first time in my life, I woke with the memories of yesterday. The heaviness of them weighed upon me, like a blanket I couldn’t wrestle off. I lay there drowning in it as every moment was relived. Tears slipped down my cheeks. Things I had seen and felt crushed me. Through the blurry tears I could see him moving around the tunnel in the dark. I was still there, and it was still night.

  He saw my tears and moved closer. “Gwyn, are you ready to go home?”

  I shook my head. “What have you done to me?”

  Bran bit his lip. “I’m sorry, but I needed you to remember. I need you to help me stop it.”

  “Get away from me.” I pulled myself into a ball, wrapping my body tightly in whatever was covering me.

  He ignored me and lifted me off the ground. “I have to get you home before they realize that you never came home tonight.”

  I tried to struggle, but he held me tight. “We need them to assume that we fell asleep together after a long passionate night. When they tell you your job designation again, you act excited. We need them to assume that you were excited about the amazing designation you got and you wanted to blow off some steam. You don’t remember anything though, so it doesn’t matter now. You fell asleep with me, waking up scared and confused. I have a bike that we used to get you home. This is the story if we get caught. Do you understand?”

  I wiggled out of his arms. “No. I don’t even know what you’re talking about. What if I don’t want to go along with this jumbled plan?”

  He shrugged. “Then you will be sending us both out there.” He pointed toward the wall.

  I sighed, looking down. “Why me? Why have you done this to me?”

  He turned and started down the tunnel. “They only pick your designation when one of the twelve is about leave their job.”

  I frowned. “Where do they go?”

  He shrugged. “Leave forever.”

  “Die?”

  He shook his head. “Not sure. All I know is my uncle has said they leave.”

  I rubbed my eyes and followed him out to the edge. He turned and climbed down the massive ladder. I shook my head in the dim light of the early morning hours. “I don’t want to go down there.”

  “You have to.”

  I shook my head. “I can’t.”

  “Then stay up there and die.” He sounded funny.

  I almost retched as I looked over the edge. “I can’t.”

  He stopped climbing down. “You can, and you will. My time of coddling you is over. You need to start acting like an adult. No more behavioral schooling or forgetting all your worries. Welcome to the real world, and how it was intended to be lived.”

  My face crumpled. “I don’t think I like you very much.” With shaking hands and a sickening feeling in my stomach, I started down the ladder.

  “You can hate me, or dislike me, or despise me. Those are ways to not like me.”

  I snapped, “I hate you.”

  He chuckled. “Hate is the most extreme. It means there is not even one redeemable trait in the person or object you hate. You can’t bear to see them or be near them, and they make you sickeningly dislike them.”

  I nodded. “That is accurate then. I hate you. You’ve tricked me into coming with you. You forced me to remember you. You forced me to see things I never wanted to know about, and you used the fact that I thought you were handsome the first time I saw you. I hate you. You have manipulated me. You and Lyle.”

  He plucked me from the ladder and placed me on the ground. “But you made it down the ladder.”

  I looked up at it and shuddered. “And I think I hate you even more for making me climb it.”

  He walked away. “You’re pretty excited about that new word, aren’t you? You’ll get past it. I think you mostly dislike me but still find me irresistible.” He turned back, grinning. “I have redeeming qualities you’re choosing to ignore. Eventually you’ll come back around.”

  My mouth hung open. I didn’t understand what he was even talking about, but I felt the hate feeling even more.

  I followed him out to the street. He turned with his mask on and pulled at mine. I swatted at him and put it on myself. He grabbed my hand. I tried to pull back but he tightened his grip. “How would you react if you woke in a secret location with a handsome boy, and you were both wearing masks and had clearly spent the night together?”

  My lip quivered.

  He cocked an eyebrow. “Well?”

  My gaze narrowed. “I would assume that I had met him at the club and had fallen for him, and snuck off to do indecent things with him.”

  He nodded. “Damned right, you would.” He pulled me along the street. I had to run to keep up with his pace.

  We reached the area where I had gone to my designation. I was out of breath and tired, in a way I had never been before. He dragged me into a doorway and down a long hallway.

  “We are always in hallways, are we not?”

  He looked back, grinning. “We are. Hallways and trams.” I thoug
ht about it, and the bad feeling started to disappear.

  The end of the hall had another door. He used a key and opened it, stepping into the dark.

  I looked around the blackness and muttered, “And the dark. We are always in the dark.”

  His chuckle was the only sound once he closed the door. He was next to me, closer than he had been before. He bent down, whispering into my ear, “I’m excited that you remember me, but I’m sad that this will be the last kiss I ever have to give you. Unless you ask me to kiss you, of course.” Before I could protest, his lips were on mine. His hands crushed me against him. I closed my eyes and got lost in it. Up, down, left, right; they meant nothing to me. He was everywhere, and then he was nowhere.

  Lights clicked on, and his mask was gone. In its stead, there was a helmet. I had seen them all my life. The wealthier people from out where Lyle lived had them. They had helmets and bikes that didn’t need to be pedaled.

  “Lyle has one of these.”

  He nodded. “This would be it.” He handed me a helmet. I pulled off my mask, dropping it to the floor of the room. He clicked a button on something, and a piece of the wall lifted up and made a gap, like the wall surrounding our world. It made me shudder.

  “Climb on.”

  I sat behind him, wrapping my arms around his thick torso. The warmth of his body through his shirt made me shiver. He started the motorbike with a kick and slowly walked the rumbling thing across the concrete room to the door. The morning sun was starting to bring light back into the dull city. He pressed the button again, closing the door, and looked back at me. “Hang on tight.”

  He lurched the bike forward, revving the machine and making it roar through the silent streets. Wind whipped us as we rode through the completely still city. He left on a thin road made for bikes and scooters. They were the only vehicles I ever saw. I knew about trucks and cars, and that they were a part of our society, but I had no memory of them. Not real ones, only pictures. The trams were the most efficient means of travel. Scheduled and controlled . . . like everything else.